The holidays are often sold to us as a highlight reel: perfect families, glittering events, and all the joy. We see the festive posts and the curated aesthetic, but behind the twinkle lights, many of us are carrying the heaviest things: grief, sadness, high expectations, and even deep loneliness.
If you find yourself experiencing profound joy one moment and deep melancholy the next, know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone. The truth is, this time of year can heighten all the emotions, good and bad, and it is perfectly okay for the holidays to be incredibly fun, incredibly sad, or a combination of both. That being said, it’s time to practice the hardest skill of all: giving yourself grace.
Why The Holidays Hit So Hard
The emotional weight of the holidays often stems from comparison and memory. We are bombarded with images of how things should and could be, which can highlight how much things have changed, what we have lost, or where we feel we’ve fallen short. Most importantly, holidays are tied to rituals. If you are navigating grief or loss, the absence of a person or a tradition can feel acute, making the “joyful” atmosphere isolating. We also tend to feel pressure to perform, to attend every party, buy the perfect gift, and feel ecstatic 24/7. This exhaustion is a fast track to emotional burnout. That sharp contrast between the season’s mandated cheer and your genuine feelings can lead to guilt, which just compounds the sadness.
Is It Ok To Be Un-Festive?
In a word, yes. Grace starts with a quiet, firm decision to stop fighting the feeling. Here are a few ways to apply grace when the seasonal pressure mounts:
- Permission to Feel Both: You can laugh at a family dinner and mourn a loss 30 minutes later. Your emotions don’t need to be sorted into neat, holiday-approved boxes. Let the happiness and the sadness to coexist without guilt.
- Permission to Say “No”: You do not have to accept every invitation. If an event or tradition drains your energy or brings up painful memories, it is an act of self-care to politely decline. “No” is a complete sentence, and no further explanation is required.
- Permission to Change Tradition: If old traditions feel too painful without certain people or situations, it is okay to start a new, smaller, or quieter tradition this year. Acknowledge the past, but create something gentle for the present.
Simple Ways to Navigate Difficult Moments
When the wave of sadness or stress hits, try these little acts of grace:
- Implement a ‘Quiet Hour’: Block out 30-60 minutes on your busiest days for absolute silence. No phone, no social media, just space to breathe.
- Move Gently: If marathon training feels impossible, lean into gentle movement. A slow walk, a restorative yoga session, or just stretching on the floor counts as a massive win for your mental health.
- Embrace ‘Good Enough’: The gift doesn’t have to be perfect. The food doesn’t have to be homemade. The house doesn’t have to be spotless. Prioritize connection over perfection.
- Schedule a ‘Grief Window’: If you are actively grieving, schedule a specific 15-minute period to intentionally look at old photos or listen to a meaningful song. This controls the memory rather than letting it ambush you.
At the end of the day, your only job is to take care of you, no matter how much the holiday season seems to ask of us. Hold space to make it your goal to be kind, gentle, and compassionate to the person in the mirror. Whatever your heart is feeling (joy, relief, sorrow, or exhaustion) it is valid, and it is welcome. Give yourself the grace you deserve.
Join us next week —> Giving Tuesday – How Do You Give Back To The Fitness Community?
Link Up With Tuesday Topics
Welcome back to Tuesday Topics, as Jenny, from Runners Fly joins Jenn at Runs With Pugs to co-host this link-up! Please join us every week for a new topic! Write on our weekly prompt or choose your own topic! Make sure to add your post to the link up, link back to your hosts, and comment on the other shared posts!
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