runfessions: running disappointment + a fresh start

Running disappointment is pretty much the theme of these last weeks of the year. I had huge goals and plans, and I fell woefully short, even if it wasn’t my fault. We are entering a new decade, however, and it’s time to air it all out.

Let’s join up with Marcia’s Healthy Slice and talk it out on this last Runfessions date of 2020.

runfessions

I runfess…

That I am incredibly disappointed with how my year in running ended. Accidents happen but this was NOT how I wanted to go down. My goal was 1,019 miles for the year, and I crashed to a halt at 869.14.

running disappointment

I runfess…

That physical therapy is HARD. I’m not one to back down from a challenge, but this is ridiculous. Each 60 minute session with the PT leaves me exhausted, sore, and in need of a nap. I know I should be proud for my progress, but I tend to feel defeated by what I can’t do yet. Diligence is key, and I’m sticking with it, no matter how discouraging it gets.

running disappointment

I runfess…

That I miss being active. Sure, I can do stretches. some cycling, and light weights, but that’s not boosting my heart rate and working up a sweat. I miss the community of running and 9Round. Sitting around has never been my jam, but here I am, sidelined. It’s frustrating and the running disappointment is so very real.

running disappointment

I runfess…

That it’s hard to focus on the “what’s next”? I am registered for several races in the New Year, and one by one, I’m making the decisions to DNS. Part of the reason is I am unable to actually drive myself to said races, even if I could manage to speed walk my way through the distances. It’s been years since I haven’t had solid race plans and I don’t like the way it feels. The running disappointment is real.

running disappointment

I runfess…

That it was weird not receiving any running related gifts this year. Not a one. I mean, I get it. I might as well wait until I’m out of the boot to get new running shoes and whatnot. That being said, I am incredibly appreciative for a pile of new books (now that my brain isn’t foggy from meds, I’m reading constantly). Plus, I now have a new hobby to help occupy my time.

I runfess…

That I haven’t been wearing my Garmin religiously. Since the surgery, all my skin has been hyper-sensitive and the band has given me a bit of irritation. Ugh. Of course, that means I’ve had my eye on new Garmin, and I think I may treat myself to one when I make my comeback. Out with the old, am I right? Maybe the Forerunner 245 Music?

I runfess…

That despite all the running disappointment, I am trying to see 2020 as a fresh start. Maybe, in relearning to walk and to run, I can break some bad habits in form and training. In my efforts to build up my leg, maybe I can push myself with heavier weights and more attention to my weaker muscle groups. The new year might not be starting out as planned, but there’s certainly plenty of room to make something of it. Positive attitude is everything, right?

running disappointment

Here’s hoping 2019 brings you a few more days of wonderful things and that 2020 is full of fresh starts!

What would you runfess?

What do you do when you’re discouraged by your own limitations?

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