The holidays are often sold to us as a highlight reel: perfect families, glittering events, and all the joy. We see the festive posts and the curated aesthetic, but behind the twinkle lights, many of us are carrying the heaviest things: grief, sadness, high expectations, and even deep loneliness.
If you find yourself experiencing profound joy one moment and deep melancholy the next, know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone. The truth is, this time of year can heighten all the emotions, good and bad, and it is perfectly okay for the holidays to be incredibly fun, incredibly sad, or a combination of both. That being said, it’s time to practice the hardest skill of all: giving yourself grace.
Why The Holidays Hit So Hard
The emotional weight of the holidays often stems from comparison and memory. We are bombarded with images of how things should and could be, which can highlight how much things have changed, what we have lost, or where we feel we’ve fallen short. Most importantly, holidays are tied to rituals. If you are navigating grief or loss, the absence of a person or a tradition can feel acute, making the “joyful” atmosphere isolating. We also tend to feel pressure to perform, to attend every party, buy the perfect gift, and feel ecstatic 24/7. This exhaustion is a fast track to emotional burnout. That sharp contrast between the season’s mandated cheer and your genuine feelings can lead to guilt, which just compounds the sadness.
Is It Ok To Be Un-Festive?
In a word, yes. Grace starts with a quiet, firm decision to stop fighting the feeling. Here are a few ways to apply grace when the seasonal pressure mounts:
- Permission to Feel Both: You can laugh at a family dinner and mourn a loss 30 minutes later. Your emotions don’t need to be sorted into neat, holiday-approved boxes. Let the happiness and the sadness to coexist without guilt.
- Permission to Say “No”: You do not have to accept every invitation. If an event or tradition drains your energy or brings up painful memories, it is an act of self-care to politely decline. “No” is a complete sentence, and no further explanation is required.
- Permission to Change Tradition: If old traditions feel too painful without certain people or situations, it is okay to start a new, smaller, or quieter tradition this year. Acknowledge the past, but create something gentle for the present.
Simple Ways to Navigate Difficult Moments
When the wave of sadness or stress hits, try these little acts of grace:
- Implement a ‘Quiet Hour’: Block out 30-60 minutes on your busiest days for absolute silence. No phone, no social media, just space to breathe.
- Move Gently: If marathon training feels impossible, lean into gentle movement. A slow walk, a restorative yoga session, or just stretching on the floor counts as a massive win for your mental health.
- Embrace ‘Good Enough’: The gift doesn’t have to be perfect. The food doesn’t have to be homemade. The house doesn’t have to be spotless. Prioritize connection over perfection.
- Schedule a ‘Grief Window’: If you are actively grieving, schedule a specific 15-minute period to intentionally look at old photos or listen to a meaningful song. This controls the memory rather than letting it ambush you.
At the end of the day, your only job is to take care of you, no matter how much the holiday season seems to ask of us. Hold space to make it your goal to be kind, gentle, and compassionate to the person in the mirror. Whatever your heart is feeling (joy, relief, sorrow, or exhaustion) it is valid, and it is welcome. Give yourself the grace you deserve.
Join us next week —> Giving Tuesday – How Do You Give Back To The Fitness Community?
Link Up With Tuesday Topics
Welcome back to Tuesday Topics, as Jenny, from Runners Fly joins Jenn at Runs With Pugs to co-host this link-up! Please join us every week for a new topic! Write on our weekly prompt or choose your own topic! Make sure to add your post to the link up, link back to your hosts, and comment on the other shared posts!
Introducing Your 2026 Tuesday Topics
January
- 6: What your word or intention for 2026?
- 13: How do you reset your routine after the holidays?
- 20: What helps you stay motivated through the winter’s blah months?
- 27: Free Topic
February
- 3: Self-care check: how do you show yourself kindness this month?
- 10: Share something you LOVE about your active lifestyle?
- 17: What habit(s) are you trying to strengthen right now?
- 24: Free Topic
March
- 3: What does “springing forward” mean for your mindset this year?
- 10: How do you bring more balance to your busy days?
- 17: Luck and hard work: which one has helped you the most lately?
- 24: Favorite way to welcome spring?
- 31: Free Topic
April
- 7: How do you add more joy or fun into your workouts?
- 14: How do you stay consistent when life gets chaotic?
- 21: It’s Earth Week: How do you stay active outdoors responsibly?
- 28: Free Topic
May
- 5: What’s one goal you’re proud of this spring?
- 12: What does mental wellness mean to you right now?
- 19: Share your favorite outdoor adventure spot.
- 26: Free Topic
June
- 2: What does Global Running Day mean to you?
- 9: How do you find balance during summer chaos?
- 16: Favorite warm-weather snack, meal or hydration tip
- 23: Summer solstice: What are you looking forward to this season?
- 30: Free Topic
July
- 7: Mid-year check-in: What’s been your biggest win of 2026 so far?
- 14: How do you stay active while traveling or on vacation?
- 21: What’s your favorite way to cool down (physically or mentally)?
- 18: Free Topic
August
- 4: What your back-to-routine plan for fall?
- 11: How do you keep things fun when motivation dips?
- 18: Share a favorite memory from the summer
- 25: Free Topic
September
- 1: What’s your fall focus: fitness, family, fun, or something else?
- 8: How do you reset your habits after summer?
- 15: What does “community” mean to you right now?
- 22: First Day Of Fall: What are you most excited for this season?
- 29: Free Topic
October
- 6: Share your favorite fall comfort meal or ritual
- 13: How do you stay active when the weather turns cooler?
- 20: What’s your favorite fall activity or race?
- 27: Free Topic (or Halloween fun)
November
- 3: What are you most thankful for in your fitness life or journey?
- 10: How do you handle the busy holiday season without burning out?
- 17: Share your holiday gift ideas for active friends and families.
- 24: Free Topic
December
- 1: Giving Tuesday: what cause do you care about the most?
- 8: Your 2026 highlight reel: biggest wins or lessons learned.
- 15: Favorite memories from this year’s adventures
- 22: What are your goals for 2027?
- 29: How are you ringining in the New Year?
What a great post in preparation for the holidays, Jenn! I am the ultimate perfectionist, especially when it comes to the holidays and entertaining, but luckily for me, I rarely feel stressed out about it. I’m one to get up earlier or stay up later to get it all done. Now that I have a devise tracking my sleep, though, I do try to honor my body’s need to get enough sleep…
Device not devise… LOL
I’m sure there are people who really need to read this. We have to remember it’s not “the most wonderful time of the year” for everyone, and it can be incredibly isolating to find yourself struggling when everyone else seems intent on being merry. You have some great ideas here.