So this morning, I woke up in a panic. Of course, I blame the internet.
I’ve been reading some message boards that deal with running and the race I’ve selected. I’m the kind of person who likes… no, who NEEDS to be prepared. I need Best Case Scenario, Worst Case Scenario and all Scenarios In Between. I am equipped with Plans A, B, and C, and I can reel off Plans D-Z, if necessary. It’s just how I function, especially in new situations.
It’s really why you want me in your foxhole should the Zombie Apocalypse ever materialize.
Unfortunately, my compulsive need for overpreparation sometimes has the nasty side effect of psyching me out.
And that’s why, when I opened my eyes this morning, my heart was pounding and I was practically in a cold sweat thinking “There’s no way I can do this.”
In my “research,” I read some very encouraging stories. People, running their first race, rising against the odds (be it heat, humidity, rough trails) to cross the finish line to claim their medals. And that pumps me up. But those stories are interspersed with less kind ones: people claiming that if you can’t run x distance in y time, you shouldn’t even be on the course, that if you choose to do intervals you are ruining the race for everyone else, that if you think there is the slightest chance you will be injured, come down with a stomach bug, might not be able to keep speed in any way, then you shouldn’t even bother signing up because you’re bringing the whole race down.
It’s hard to read. And it’s very disheartening. And I start questioning if I have what it takes. If I’m taking it seriously enough. If I gave myself enough time to build up to 10 miles. If I should even bother because I’m pretty sure that I may have to walk at some point and that I’m going to get in someone’s way, and let’s face it, there’s really no way to know if I’m going to get the stomach bug or not.
I’m taking this pretty seriously. I’m sticking to the training, even though some days, I long to add extra time or do a double workout. I’m going slowly and steadily to avoid injury and build myself up. I’m hydrating (with actual water, not red wine) and making better food choices). I feel like I have enough time to make 10 miles by early October. The pieces are all there. It’s up to me to hold them together.
Most importantly, I like it. I hope I get to a point where I love it. But I’ll take like for now.
With all that rolling around in my head, I laced up this morning, somehow not expecting a great session.
I rocked it, if I do say so myself. I got a great pace, and I’ve definitely decided that I need to do a serious study of my ipod playlist. Ridiculous as it sounds, the Cha Cha Slide provides an excellent beat for getting one foot in front of the other. I found myself not even checking the app on my phone to see how much time I had remaining in my running portions – it just went that smoothly.
There was one little hiccup when I rolled my ankle with a misstep on the sidewalk, but it was in the last 20 seconds of running, and I was able to work it out between the final walking interval and the cool down.
I’m trying to keep the negative thoughts out of my head. They’re not doing me any good and if I keep on my training path, I know I will deserve to be in that corral no matter what.