Happy Wednesday! It’s time to join with Deb Runs for the Wednesday Word. If you want to join in the fun, go ahead over to her page and link up!
This week’s word is
Gosh. I despise this word. It’s ugly and harsh and it’s really hard to see any kind of positive in it.
I try not to be judgmental. I don’t want to be the person who make assumptions about other human beings, with absolutely no real knowledge of their situations, inner battles and demons. It’s not my place and it’s not right. My friends will tell you that I am diplomatic, that I try to see situations from all sides and always give the benefit of the doubt – I strive for this because I want others to do the same for me.
That being said, it’s human nature to judge. We all do it in some way – draw conclusions about people or situations that fit our own preconceived notions and boxes. None of us is perfect.
The fitness world is rife with judgment. Articles and memes pop up on the regular, where both the well-meaning and the cruel cast their opinions on fellow active folk. There are open letters to the “slow runner on the track” and to the “person who doesn’t fit in to yoga class”, anonymous photos snapped in the gym, openly mocking those who fall outside the realm of appropriate physical conventions. There is shame and condescension, and none of it is necessary or kind.
Of course, I’m not exempt, except I turn my judgment on myself. Harshly. I am absolutely unforgiving of my flaws. I will call myself fat and lazy, and I will mentally beat myself up when I fail. I am really good at finding positives and silver linings for others, but when it comes to myself, I am pretty unforgiving. I don’t know why I won’t hold myself in higher esteem, but I need to start consciously choosing to do so.
I don’t think fitness is a world of absolutes, nor is it exclusive to a select, gifted few. We all have our place, from the most talented elites to the person lacing up for the first time. And, in many ways, we are all in it together. We can learn from each other and support each other, and in that way, we can be strong together.
In what ways can you be judgmental?
Are you hard on yourself or more forgiving?
We are all our own worst critics! I think most of us runners are by nature perfectionists, so it makes sense that we would be hard on ourselves.
And yes, there’s a lot of judgement out there in the running world! In the past, I’ve gotten a ton of comments about my unconventional marathon training. “Where’s your 20 mile run?” is what I’ve heard the most. And this time there are those naysayers who’ve told me I shouldn’t run, even tho I’ve consulted a Sport Medicine expert who told me I could and helped me alter my training to help my PF calm down.
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…You Be The Judge: Trading Bibs and an Invisible Finisher
I think people like to be experts on things, or even like to be able to try to help others out based on their own experiences, which can comes across as judgment.
But, yes, perfectionists do have a hard time easing up and letting it all go. Just part of the character trait.
runswithpugs recently posted…race report: publix savannah women’s half marathon & 5k weekend, day 3
I am certainly very hard on myself and I’ve been trying to be more aware of this. I’ve also made a conscious effort to stay away from people who are just negative and judgemental and I am so much happier.
Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner recently posted…My Current Recovery Strategies-How I stay up and running
Staying away from negative people is huge. I have had to consciously pull away from some of those, myself. It’s hard but at the same time, I don’t need anyone bringing me down.
runswithpugs recently posted…race report: publix savannah women’s half marathon & 5k weekend, day 3
I have been know to be sometimes. I really try hard not to though. I really don’t like it and don’t like when others do it to me. I try to remain positive and focus on controlling what I can.
I try very hard not to judge others, and if I find myself doing so, I try to stop myself. It is a whole other ballgame not to judge ourselves, though. I am definitely my own worst critic.
Nicole @ Fitful Focus recently posted…Mindful Mobility + A Health Update
Ay, the fitness world does have so much judgement. Last year I was checking out a new gym (3 months postpartum) and the guy who was the fitness director made the most insensitive comments – “what are your goals – let me guess, lose weight” and when I mentioned I wanted to improve my running, he said “oh, you must only do 5ks, right?” {Not that there’s anything wrong with a 5k, but the assumption that I don’t do anything longer was irritating}. Talk about a way NOT to sell me a gym membership.
Ever since that experience I feel like I’ve been way more hyperaware of both others and my own judgement in the fitness world!
I catch myself passing judgement on other athletes…but I think it’s more out of concern than criticism. It frustrates me to see others doing crazy stuff (over-training, not taking recovery days, not fuelling properly, etc.) and then to see/hear them complain about their constant state of injury. I’m probably doing crazy stuff, too, that makes others roll their eyes in my direction. It’s a difficult truth to accept that we all are different, and ultimately, we are all responsible for our own actions (and training practices). Thanks for the great insight 😉
Kimberly Hatting recently posted…Fight for Air Climb 2016-Climb, Conquer, Cure
I’m definitely hard on myself, and if I find myself being hard on others, I try to determine why. Sometimes it’s a personality clash, sometimes it’s envy, and sometimes I see a part of me in them.
Ange // Cowgirl Runs recently posted…Nutrition Requirements for Runners: Carbohydrates
Judgment is hard to avoid. I try my best to catch myself when I’m being judgmental of others. Like if I judge someone at the gym for how they look I stop myself and look for a positive aspect.
Jen @ Pretty Little Grub recently posted…Living my life offline
Definitely hard on myself. After every race. Every time I look in the mirror.
Darlene recently posted…Wednesday Word: Judgmental
I think a while ago I got “tired” of being my own worst critic. I wouldn’t say I’m my biggest cheerleader, but I try not to be negative to myself. Sometimes that can lead to stasis in my fitness, but at the same time, it protects my sanity!
I am definitely hard on myself. Being a perfectionist its hard not to do this. It is something that I am working on. We should definitely not be judgemental about others.
Sandra Laflamme recently posted…Boston Marathon Race Day Outfit Preview & Giveaway– Momentum Jewelry
Perfectionism is such a double-edged sword! But, I guess recognizing it is half the battle.
runswithpugs recently posted…race report: publix savannah women’s half marathon & 5k weekend, day 3
yep. This. Fat and lazy are pretty much how I refer to myself. Oh also stubby. Though that’s not really an insult. I AM short 😉
I think those of us who strive to better ourselves are always our own toughest critic. It’s why we push so hard to be better. It’s also important (and healthy!) to take a step back and appreciate how far we’ve come. And what we CAN do, not just be annoyed by what we can’t.
Stacie Seidman recently posted…What’s Up Wednesday!
Well, I’m about 5’10” so I can’t claim stubby LOL! We have to be better to ourselves. Seriously. You’re so right – we need to focus on what we CAN do! And it’s so much!
I think it’s natural for us to want to judge someone who is different…because we don’t understand or FEAR different. But, I think I’m more harsh on myself. I can easily do that silver line thing for others but have to dig deep to find my own sometimes! I’ll call everyone else a runner but me too! I run… but I’m not a runner. Yeah, I need therapy. 😉
HoHo Runs recently posted…Dear Body:
I have moments when I am hard on myself and I really try to make myself snap out of it.
It really helps me to be around positive, happy people!!
Natalie Mitchell recently posted…Boston Marathon Training Recap: Taper Time + 5 Days Till Race Day!
I am definitely my own worst enemy. I’m pretty hard on myself at times. I try to keep a positive attitude, but some days are worse than others.
I think we are our own harshest critics. I’ve found that the older I get, the less I judge others and myself.
Thanks for linking up!
Debbie @ Deb Runs recently posted…Making The Energizer Bunny Proud