week #50: working with a less than jolly holiday

I usually really thrive in the jolly holiday season. It’s my happy place, full of family and friends and festivities. I absolutely adore the decorations, the menu planning and the get togethers. Missing out on so many of those things with the boys because of my injury has been so awful and I’m struggling emotionally because of it.

Sunday – rest

My morning started with some tears. Little man and I were planning to join my friend and her son for a holiday race. The boys would run the 5K and we were taking on the 10K. Obviously, I wasn’t doing any K, so C offered to take little man for the 5K. I was so happy he could still go, but pretty sad I couldn’t be there.

jolly holiday

They even brought me my t-shirt and medal. When C told the staff member I had missed out because of a broken leg, they couldn’t hand over the bling fast enough. It was so thoughtful.

jolly holiday

I’m sure it didn’t help my emotional state that my pain block had completely worn off, and I was hurting. It wasn’t unbearable, but it wasn’t great either.

To add insult to injury (literally), I also wasn’t up to going to the St. Augustine Moms Donuts with Santa event. Mr PugRunner didn’t want to leave me, so friends swooped in to the rescue yet again. Of course, I didn’t get to be a part of his annual Santa photo, and that broke my heart. That jolly holiday feeling was fading fast.

jolly holiday

I did get a little smile though: my friend sent me this:

Monday – rest

To be honest, I slept most of Monday. I was bone-tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open if you paid me. Mr PugRunner check on me periodically to make sure I was having my meals and my meds, but other than that, it was lights out for me. In my actual life, I’m not much of a sleeper, so this was unusual.

The good news is that the sleep was probably great for my healing and gave the guys a bit of a break since they didn’t have to do much to take care of me.

Tuesday – rest

I was a bit more awake on Tuesday, although I still took a decent nap. It was a quiet day, and we got a little help from friends so that little man could go to Scouts, while Mr PugRunner attended an HOA meeting. Have I mentioned our friends are amazing? They are.

Wednesday – rest

By midweek, things were good. Nothing much to share but a selfie with my best guy.

jolly holiday

I also got a special snuggle from Bentley. He’s not much of a cuddler but he just seemed to know I needed love.

jolly holiday

Thursday – rest

I think I felt the best of the week on Thursday. I was uncomfortable, but not terribly so. At this point, I really didn’t even need the pain meds anymore, and I was happy for that, although I still wanted to take it day by day.

Friday – rest

I guess I could say TGIF but it was just another day. I had made it through the night without meds, which was a huge win, and felt fairly decent.

While the boys were helping at our community Santa event (yup, I missed that, too),

jolly holiday

I had two visitors. First, my neighbor came over to chat and then another friend brought Chinese takeout so we could chat and chow down on lo mein.

jolly holiday

It ended up being a super late night for me and I was really happy to get to bed. My stitches were really starting to pull inside my splint and while it’s not painful exactly, it’s extremely unpleasant. I slept terribly: every time I was about to doze off, I heard the sound my ankle made when I fell and then I was wide awake again. Ugh.

Saturday – rest

My anxiety kicked in hard as the day went on. My leg tingled all day. There was one party I wanted to attend in the evening and I kept getting panicky about it. I started getting nervous about the removal of my stitches and about what my incisions will look like. I’ve never been incredibly vain, but my lower legs are probably my best feature and the idea of big scars on both sides of my ankle is a little upsetting. It’s been something I’ve kept pushed to the back of my mind, but for some reason, my brain decided to pull it out.

Mr PugRunner finally took a stand and told me that he would take me to the party (it was close to home) and make sure I got in and settled ok. He would pick me up whenever I wanted, or I could hitch a ride with a neighbor who was also attending. I hadn’t been out of the house in forever, so I agreed.

Putting on makeup was exhausting. I almost called the whole thing off after that fiasco, but held tough. With Mr PugRunner’s help, I was able to get out of the house and to the event. Once he had me inside and I was installed on a couch, I felt a little better and stayed about two hours. We forgot to take a group photo while there (the conversation was just to go), but there’s the first makeup and real clothing I’ve had in weeks.

jolly holiday

Goal-getting

My sights are still set on Monday. I am so nervous for my post-op appointment and I hate that I have to wait for mid-afternoon for it. I have no idea how I’m going to sleep tonight, or how I’m going to make it through the day. There is no telling what my leg looks like and I’m just so sad about it being atrophied and gross, but it is what it is.

On the other hand, I am so hopeful to get cleared for PT and get back on both feet. I know it’s going to be hard work and painful, but I think (hope) I’m ready for the challenge.

While I did plan to do some upper body workouts, I’ve been too tired. This makes me feel terribly unproductive, but using my crutches has certainly been good for my arms, so I’m not worrying too much.

So, fun side effect of all this is I’ve lost some weight. We don’t have a scale but the dress I wore on Saturday night was actually snug when I bought it and I was considering returning or exchanging it. When I tried it on for the event, it was swimming on me. This is absolutely the result of having no appetite, eating small meals and not snacking. I wasn’t trying to lose weight, but I guess I’ll take it as the only positive in this crappy situation.

I am linking up with the new Weekly Rundown, with Confessions of A Mother Runner and Running on the Fly! Check them out!

Will you be joining me at any of the Best Damn Race Ambassador Crew! Don’t forget to register with my BDR discount code RUNSWITHPUGS to save on any distance at any BDR location!

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How was your week in training?

Any words of advice for the PT and upward climb ahead?

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24 Responses to week #50: working with a less than jolly holiday

  1. It’s a total bummer this happened, especially during such a busy & festive time of year. I hate to keep comparing my ordeal with your’s (because mine seems pretty minimal in comparison), but I can relate to all of your frustrations. Summer is my favorite time for running, and I had to find other things to do while in recovery…but it DID all work out for me, and I know it will for you, too. I was freaked about the 6-inch scar over my knee…but it’s barely noticeable now. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow <3

    • runswithpugs says:

      You can totally compare! We can only go by what we know. On that note, you only had to come up with one name for your scar! I will have two! Just kidding. But this is why I blog – so I can get these feelings out without driving my family too crazy πŸ™‚

  2. I am glad that your hubs convinced you to go to the party. You are over the worst of it and you will continue to feel better each week. Chin up girl you got this!

    • runswithpugs says:

      Sometimes, just sometimes, he is right LOL.

      I do hope this is the worst of it, but I’m still scared of what’s to come. Running isn’t easy for me, and I’m not a natural at it. I’m sad that I have yet another obstacle to muck it up.

  3. Coco says:

    I know it’s hard but you really do need the rest! And you have great friends and neighbors because you are a great friend and neighbor. πŸ˜‰

  4. Laurie says:

    So glad you can make it through the night without pain meds and that you went to the Holiday party. Baby steps, right? It sounds like you have a very supportive group of friends helping you out as well as your family. Sending hugs your way! πŸ™‚
    Laurie recently posted…Ain’t It a Shame?My Profile

  5. Darlene says:

    You are so much support. Lucky you.

    It will look ugly but you will have NO Scars. Trust me.

    I hope you can do PT this early. I could not until 8 weeks after when I was healed and weight bearing.

    • runswithpugs says:

      I really hope not. I fell a few years ago and still have a huge scar on my knee so hopefully the stitches were small enough that it won’t show. I know it’s petty and vain, but dang it.

      I can only go by what the surgeon said. I mean, it could even be PT to get me weight-bearing. I have really no idea what to expect, but I just want to do SOMETHING.

  6. Wendy says:

    It really does take a village! Sounds like you have a good one. Still, it’s hard to be on the receiving end of all this help. I wouldn’t be good at it either. It’s much easier to be the helper, right?

    Glad to hear that you’re going to get those stitches out. I think once you get up and moving, you’re going to feel a whole lot better. Did you reach out to my friend?

    • runswithpugs says:

      I am so much better as the helper!

      I did reach out and she has been so lovely. I am really looking forward to being up and having a little more independence and mobility. This has just sucked all around.

  7. Chaitali says:

    I’m glad you were feeling a bit better by mid week and that you have so many wonderful people in your life to help out! Fingers crossed that the appointment goes well this afternoon.
    Chaitali recently posted…Weekly ReviewMy Profile

  8. I’m so sorry that it’s all been so hard. Big, big hugs. The only way through it, unfortunately, is through it. That it’s aok to feel crappy, even though crappy isn’t how you want to feel.

    I hope that your appointment today goes well! You are so strong — you will make it through this. One step at a time, just like a race.

  9. It’s such a tough time to be out of commission. And all the sleepiness doesn’t help either! But that’s your body using your energy to heal and recover, so you have to try and do what it wants. Glad you were able to get out for a few hours, and I really hope today goes well for you!

  10. Kim G says:

    Sending you a huge hug, and wished I lived closer to give you one in person.

    I am glad that you were able to get out of the house and attend a party this weekend!

    I hope that your appointment went well – fingers crossed!

  11. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this, especially during the holiday season. I’m glad your son was still able to do the run with your friend…love the medal, that was so nice!!!

  12. runswithpugs says:

    It was really nice to have them bring that home and think of me like that. They’re just so awesome.
    runswithpugs recently posted…the rwp runner’s gift guideMy Profile

  13. Hang in there Jenn! Recovery is a marathon all it’s own.
    Beckett @ Birchwood Pie recently posted…Weekly Eats: French Toast with LoveMy Profile

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