june coffee date: when words aren’t enough

I just don’t know what to say. We are halfway through 2020 and not even the memes are funny anymore. Every day I wake up, just waiting for the next shoe to drop, and every day, I find myself in shock at what is going on. If Godzilla climbed out of the ocean right now, I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised.

Join us for this month’s Ultimate Coffee Date. After reading here, head on over to visit Coco and Deborah, our awesome link-up hosts.

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Over coffee, I would tell you that…

I’ve struggled with blogging and business over the past few months, but especially over the last week, in the wake of George Floyd’s murder and all that has happened since. I’m afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, but I am an ally, even if I don’t always know what to add. I am listening.

Over coffee, I would tell you that…

I am filled with hopelessness over the way people are behaving lately. It’s like they’ve forgotten how to be human. I’ve spent the last months so disappointed in how friends and acquaintances are treating each other, even when they are on the same side. It goes back to the start of the pandemic, and has just escalated over the weeks.

Over coffee, I would tell you that…

I don’t understand why people are so afraid to learn and grow and be better people. It’s like we can no longer listen to disagreement or criticism, and in doing so, we shut out intellectual curiosity and the ability to improve. Why are people so quick to block out the things that challenge them? Why don’t people want to do more? How can people look at the status quo and think things are a-ok?

Over coffee, I would tell you that…

For the first time ever, I have offered myself up to go with people to the polls this year as a support system. A few people have confided to me that they have changed their affiliation or have never voted before and feel compelled to do something in 2020. It can be scary and intimidating, especially with so much emotion wrapped up in politics right now, so I plan to be available to help those friends, and anyone else who needs support in November. Voting is the single most important thing we can do, especially right now, and I am happy to take the time to help anyone who needs guidance during any part of the process.

Over coffee, I would tell you that…

I am attempting to do my part by digging into anti-racism and how I can help do more. This is a great, comprehensive resource, and I am embracing the suggestions. I think it’s vital to see things from perspectives not our own, and I am open to learning and listening to help make this country and world a better place. We are having more conversations in our home and I hope we are able to make a difference, however small.

Over coffee, I would tell you that…

Phase 2 has arrived in Florida and I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, we are not in a hotspot and things don’t seem to be changing very much, but on the other, it doesn’t seem like any of our counties fulfill the requirements for any of these phase openings. Theme parks, bars, and movie theaters have joined the list of things that are open again, and the capacity restrictions on retail and dining have ended. We are still keeping ourselves to necessary trips only, at least for a little while longer.

Over coffee, I would tell you that…

I am stressing a bit about school next year. This morning, little man and I had a conversation about options: regular school with restrictions, virtual school, or home school. Right now, if all things are in a good place, he wants to return to school, but virtual school is his second choice. Our district has a solid program in place, and while it isn’t what I would want for him, at least we have some choices, in case the reopening plans are too restrictive.

What would you share over coffee?

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21 Responses to june coffee date: when words aren’t enough

  1. I think lots of us don’t know what to say bc everything is taken as some sort of offense to someone. Actions speak much louder than words in my opinion including what we teach our children. I am also a bit stressed about phase 2 (we are not there yet) but things do seem to be looking better over all so that is encouraging. Not ready for any big gatherings or theme parks though! Thanks for joining for coffee today.

    • runswithpugs says:

      And there’s that side of it, too. I see that on Twitter, and I wish people would work on gently educating rather than blasting. So many of us are trying to stand up for what we feel is right, and nobody deserves to be smacked down for speaking up, even if it’s not quite right. How is that encouraging and bringing people to your cause?

  2. Chaitali says:

    It’s a tough time, but it sounds like you’re taking some really good steps. A lot of us don’t know what to say but I’ve heard from many people that saying something to acknowledge what’s going on is better than staying silent. And to back up that support by continuing to learn, speaking to others, and accompanying people to the polls are all important steps.
    Chaitali recently posted…Weekly FoodMy Profile

    • runswithpugs says:

      The voting is important. So important. While I obviously hope they vote like me, I am just grateful that people realize that the first way to start the change IS to vote.

  3. Wendy says:

    I’m so grateful you posted this. I posted something similar. I wasn’t sure if I should put myself out there but it was such a relief to hit publish and share my thoughts. We need to keep the conversation going.

    • runswithpugs says:

      I just read yours as well. I wanted to post something Wednesday, but the words wouldn’t come. While I don’t have a huge platform, I want people to know where I stand and that I am open and listening, and that I am here. I think it’s all we can do in the face of so much tension and ugliness.

  4. I agree with everything you said. I am also just struggling with what to say even though I know saying something is better than nothing. I’ve been focusing on reading and trying to learn as much as I can.
    Did your school system already announce the official options for next year? We still dont know much. Grayson was supposed to start daycare this fall and obviously I am second guessing that big time….

    • runswithpugs says:

      We have not had an official announcement: just that the majority of parents surveyed so far support the return to school. Apparently, we will have many more surveys to come regarding what that return will look like.

      <3 Reading and learning is so important.

  5. Coco says:

    I appreciate your post. I spent a lot of time this week writing comments and deleting them. I decided my time is better spent getting better informed. I am very empathetic by nature and get physically stressed by the injustice, but realize that being able to “shut it off” is a privilege others don’t have, so I’m trying not to look away and figure out what I can do. Volunteering around voting is a great idea — and reminds me I signed up to do something a while ago and haven’t heard back yet.

    • runswithpugs says:

      <3 It's hard to find the right words. But yes, some people will never get to shut it off. It's hard not having a tangible way to help or even know the right way to help. Volunteering with voting sounds right to me. If things settled down with COVID-19, I may even go so far as to volunteer at the polls. Those positions are usually filled by retirees and people in the older demographic (at least at my particular location), and they may not feel comfortable being there.

  6. Farrah says:

    That’s how I’ve been feeling too–it’s like every month has something new and terrible to bring. I also can’t understand how people can keep supporting this kind of behavior; it’s absolutely sickening. I really, really hope we at the VERY least get positive change in November. The world needs it.

    • runswithpugs says:

      It really is sickening. All of it. I hope people see they can’t just say “well, it doesn’t effect me, so Idon’t have to do anything.” Complacency will be the end of us.

  7. I really struggle with the right words as well. Like Deborah said, no matter how nice you try to word things, someone will always be there to take offense. I try to go the action route, too. I’ve been burned too many times…

  8. Catrina says:

    This year has surely turned out to be a big stress-test for human society.
    I think you are doing the right thing by being open to learning and listening. And by speaking up and taking action.
    Change happens in very small steps and I am very hopeful that many families across the globe are doing the same as you are, Jenn. Keep up the good work, I love it!

  9. Marcia says:

    I’m deeply saddened by all of the events these past few weeks and am at a loss for words as well. I lead my kids by example though, and we’ve had some really good conversations.
    Just got back from grovery shopping and TJs still has a massive line to enter. We’re in phase 3, but all retail is not yet open. I thik we can gather in groups under 10 but that hasn’t happened here yet.

    • runswithpugs says:

      We don’t have a TJs close to me so I haven’t seen how the lines are. We haven’t had to wait to get into target, Publix or Winn Dixie though. I will continue to shop on off times, and avoid the crowds that way.

  10. Michelle D. says:

    Thank you so much for your post, Jenn – for putting yourself out there. We all need to be willing to learn and grow – all of us. Let’s keep the conversation going!

    And can I just say how much I love that you will be supporting people as they go to the polls! Voting is so important!

    • runswithpugs says:

      I just don’t understand looking around and thinking “everything is just hunky dory the way it is.” And then lacking the empathy to want to make it better for our fellow humans. It just doesn’t compute in my brain.

      Voting is so important, especially when you are going against the way you normally vote, or against the grain. I remember the first time I voted and how nervous I was and how easy it would have been to just say “forget it.” I don’t want people to feel that way.

  11. All of this. Very much on the same page. What a world we are living in. I’m hopeful real change comes this time. I’m not sure how confident I am, but I am hopeful.
    Stacie Seidman recently posted…Thursday’s ThreadsMy Profile

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