Leave Us Alone.

Leave us alone. That’s the message and the theme. This is a post of anger, and I make no apologies for that. Trigger warning: this post mentions with murder, assault, and violence. Please only continue if you have the space to do so.

Laken Riley

On Thursday, February 28, Laken Riley, an Augusta University College of Nursing student, was found dead near a lake on the UGA campus after she didn’t return home from a run. It was broad daylight on a nice day in a busy area. This young woman was brutally attacked and murdered doing a routine activity in a familiar place. It’s another senseless tragedy, and it needs to stop.

Women Runners & Safety

How many times have I or my fellow bloggers churned out a dutiful post on running safely while being a woman? We have cued up the same reasonable advice, linked to the same pepper sprays and silicon blades. Our checklists include running in the daylight, with a group, without ear buds, in populated areas, while letting people know where you are and when you’ll be back. And you know what? None of it matters at all, because when a murderer is set on murder, all the rules fly out the window.

I’m not going to run through the spiel again. We all know what to do. It’s been ingrained in us from the beginning.

I am going to remind you that I, like many of you, have had encounters with creepers in spite of all our efforts. Just this week, a man I did not know interrupted me in the gym to tell me that he sees me running all the time, and never sees me outside of our neighborhood. Maybe his intentions were friendly, but also maybe they were not. What I do know is that I now have to amp up my vigilance while I’m out, just in case.

Leave Us Alone

When women go out for a run, they are looking to do exactly one thing: run. I can pretty much guarantee they have zero interest in being catcalled, coached, critiqued, or otherwise engaged in pursuit of that effort.

There is zero reason that a woman should not be able to go out and log her miles unimpeded. She should not have to worry about anything more serious than the weather, chafing, blisters, or similar running inconveniences.

If a person is unable to be in the presence of a woman running without feeling entitled to her attention or her body, the problem is not the woman running. This needs to be abundantly clear. And while women will always need to be on their guard, the best way to mitigate the issue is to go to the source of the problem.

So Let’s Flip The Script

The problem isn’t women doing things like going for runs; it’s aggressors who feel entitled to harm women. that needs to stop immediately. Instead of telling women to load up on self-defense classes and not running at night, why don’t we go to the source?

Address Aggressive Tendencies Before They Manifest In Harm

If you are a person prone to violence, rage, and aggression, seek help. There’s no shame in counseling, therapy, or medications to get your behaviors in check, but there is a ton of shame in not being able to control your dangerous impulses and inflicting harm on others.

If you know someone who is prone to violence, range, and aggression, get yourself self, and then encourage them to seek help. Parents of children who exhibit these behaviors, this means you, too. Violent children can become violent teenagers and then violent adults, so it’s in everyone’s best interest to address the problem now. It’s hard and it’s uncomfortable, but doing the right thing is sometimes difficult, and isn’t that what parenting is about?

Consent Is Critical

No means no. Period. Full stop. Remind yourself of this in all things. Teach it to your children, male and female alike. Put it in practice for family, friends, and strangers. Yes, it applies to intimate relations, but it starts with things like not forcing a child to hug a relative if they don’t want to. Listening to their wishes helps solidify the idea that no one should ever touch them without permission, and they have the right (at any age) to deny that permission for any reason. Teach that when someone says “no”, the only correct response is to cease and desist what you are doing immediately.

Speak Out Against Problematic Behavior

Accountability is the solution to so many issues, which is why we have to make more of an effort to call out problematic behavior when it occurs. If someone says something inappropriate, touches without invitation, or behaves in a way that is threatening or unwelcome, speak out loudly. If you witness such actions, speak out. Instead of “taking the high road,” “keeping the peace”, nor “not making waves,” make those waves! Make it clear that bad behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any space.

Remember Their Names

These are the names of the women who were murdered while running since 2016.

• Vanessa Marcotte
• Karina Veteran
• Wendy Martinez
• Mollie Tibbetts
• Sydney Sutherland
• Eliza Fletcher
• Laken Riley

There are countless more who were attacked and survived.

Remember them. Honor them. Remember that women are worthy and deserve to exist without fear or threat.

Join us next week for —> How Do You Maintain Your Running Motivation?

Link Up With Tuesday Topics

This year, I am joining up with Zenaida, of  The Running Teacher for Tuesday Topics! Please join us every week for a new topic!