I’m just going to go ahead and title this the “Epic Week of Epic Fail: A Pity Party in Eight Installments.” Yup. That sounds dramatic enough.
I haven’t run since those four miles on the trail last weekend. And it’s been absolutely miserable. My frustration stems from a few things. First, that I’m not in any actual pain. At least, with pain, I can say to myself “Oh, I’m in pain. I should rest.” Second, that running does not come easily to me. At all. It never has and it never will. And the longer I sit out, with this annoying non-pain, the faster I can feel my abilities trickling away. It’s devastating to feel like I’m going to have to start from Couch to 5K Week One, Day One, instead of honing my half marathon time.
Let’s see just how much I didn’t train this week.
Sunday – rest
I had a long chat with Mr PugRunner about my injury. I decided that I would take the week off so I would be all set for Best Damn Race Orlando on Saturday. It was a really nice, motivating carrot and I threw myself into feeling better.
By which I mean, I made my very first batches of granola and granola bars from scratch. Everything was a huge hit, which is great, but also means I will have to make more.
Monday – rest
Stacey tried to talk me into body circuit, promising me I could just do arms, but I was a little stiff and decided to just stay home and do my stretches instead. Can’t be too careful, right?
I threw myself into cooking some new and fun meals. Little man has been super helpful in the dinner planning department, and it’s great finding some new recipes for the family. Yay for being productive.
Tuesday – rest
I had to be up and out for a super early staff meeting. I like these. It’s nice to see some of the staff that I don’t usually get to see, and it’s good to connect with the “HQ”, so to speak. It energized me for the day.
At home, I started helping little man with his diorama project for school. I love love love these projects, and I’m so happy he lets me help.
Wednesday – rest
Another mostly quiet day. I did some reading and some cleaning. Little man asked if he could change his karate schedule from Wednesdays to another day, so it made our evening a little more chill. I was ok with that.
My task masters were sure to remind me to keep working at my hip. They never let up.
Thursday – rest
This was not a good day. Not at all. I had been feeling great. The hip was strong. All the stars were aligning. I felt good and rested. I had started looking at my pre-race hydration and nutrition. I confirmed plans.
And then I tripped on the stairs, and it all went to hell.
I cried. Three times. To me, at this moment, this was failure. This was giving up. In four years of running, I have never, ever, ever had a DNS. It was never an option for me. In my world, you register, you run. If that means you crawl over the finish line, so be it. And that’s just how it goes.
No matter how many times people tell me that this was the right call, and the responsible thing, it doesn’t feel like it. My logical side (which, I confess, is buried deep within me and I really don’t like letting it out to play, ever, because logic isn’t fun) KNOWS this was the smartest move. The rest of me thinks I am the biggest sissy pants, who can’t even run through a little discomfort.
I was a bit of a mess the rest of the day. I’m not proud, but I moped and sulked. Not only was I missing out on an event I love, but I wasn’t going to get to hang out with some great friends. I won’t mince words: it sucked all the way around.
Friday – body circuit
I tried to be more positive on Friday. I talked myself into going to body circuit. It didn’t matter if I stood around for an hour, doing curls. At least I would be with friends and out of my own head for a bit. And I felt great afterwards (not pack my Mizunos, hop in the car and drive to Orlando great, but great all the same).
We did the late evening karate and had dinner out. It was a nice family night, and I was glad for that.
Saturday – rest
Saturday was hard. While I was so proud of all my friends who were racing and crushing their goals, I was jealous, too. It wasn’t pretty. Mr PugRunner was headed out of town with a buddy to go see a hockey game, so little man and I were left to find for ourselves. I confess, we hung out in PJs way longer than we needed to, and foraged for lunch in the cheese drawer, but eventually, we got it together enough to go see Zootopia
and have dinner with my parents.
And so here we are. Monday.
The strengthening and stretching seems to be working. I’m not 100% and I have some decisions to make about the Gate this upcoming weekend. I have a partner who is a-ok with taking it slow and walking as needed, but I need to dig deep to see where I’m at, physically.
I’m trying to have perspective. It could be an IT band injury or bursitis or a stress fracture, or something far worse. It’s only a small tweak/strain of a muscle/tendon/ligament (what IS a hip flexor, anyway?) that just happens to be one of those things people use to do ridiculously basic things like sit and walk and climb stairs. It will be fine.
The feeling of failure is hard to shake. I hate that I had to skip out on a run. And I also hate that I can’t help little man with his training. We were both really enjoying that time together, and it stinks that we have been interrupted.
Onward and upward, though. I am going to continue “being smart” this week, and see where it leads.
How was your week in review?
How do you work through the “rest” and “rehab” parts of an injury, when all you want to do is get back out there?