While I am waiting on some photos from Savannah, I am going to get back to joining Deb Runs for the Wednesday Word. It’s actually the perfect time to add this back into my blogging schedule, because Deb is celebrating one whole year of Wednesday Words! Happy Anniversary, Deb!
This week’s word is
I wouldn’t ever presume to define myself as “brave.” I’m just a very average, very unexceptional, 30-something woman who does her best to get by. Every morning, I get out of bed and try to be the best wife, mother and human being I can. There’s nothing brave about any of that. Sometimes, I take some risks and chances, do something a little more adventurous than usual, but that’s the extent of it.
However, sometimes, the verb of the word applies. And that’s where my April goals are going to enter the conversation. After having to drop down to the 5K in Savannah, I realize that I am going to have to brave the reality of how my injury affected my training and mental wellness, and get back to work.
It’s a pretty daunting proposition. In just over a year, I have gone from running 26.2 miles to square one. I’ve been having a hard time seeing this as anything but failure, but the instructor at Sunday’s Yoga on the Square got through to me somehow. As she was guiding us through our flow, she also challenged us in a way that resonated deeply within me. When she encouraged to try our crow pose, she told us to just get comfortable with the idea that we might fall on our faces. And you know what? I got my toes off the ground for a few seconds! Later, she asked us to hold dolphin pose, which is actually really challenging. When I dropped, she said to get back up. Why? “Because you can.” And she was right. It was hard and it hurt, but I could, so I did.
My endurance and stamina are shot. My confidence has hit the road. While I’ve always had some nerves or light anxiety before a long run or race, I never used to doubt the fact that I would cross the finish line. It just wasn’t even an option. Over the last month, that has changed, and now I am terrified to even get out there for fear I won’t be able to complete the distance. It’s an awful feeling.
Over the last few days, I’ve sat down with a calendar and charted a new course. What I need most is to rebuild what I’ve lost, and while I’m doing it, I might as well develop a stronger base.
The running will come, but for now, I have to brave new territory. For the next two weeks, I am going to forget about running. I need to get it out of my head entirely. I am going to be diligent with my body circuit and yoga, and I found a training plan to safely build my cycling miles. And then I am going to go ahead and re-enter Couch to 5K. It served me well years ago, and I think it will clear my head and allow me to work on my form and maybe help me break some bad habits and get out of my comfort zones.
I have no idea what’s going to happen. I have a “goal race,” if you will: it will be the fourth anniversary of my very first 5K, and if all goes according to plan, I think I will be in the mindset to make a nice comeback. There are almost two months to prepare, so I’ll be able to take my time.
So there you have it. How I plan to brave the weeks ahead and get back into the physical and mental shape to continue with the running that I love.
What is something you are having to brave these days?
You are BRAVE!!!
Starting over is scary.
I did it and it was not fun but when you look back, you’ll know it was the right thing to do.
I ran 0 halfs in 2012 and then in 2015, I ran 7. It took awhile but I am back.
You will be too.
Darlene recently posted…Wednesday Word: Brave
It is terrifying, but whether I can do it or not isn’t going to make a big impact on anyone but me. Well, and the people who have to live with me. 🙂 I am grateful that I can still be active and fit, and this could all be a lot lot worse.
I hope to get in a few half marathons this year – maybe not fast or amazing, but at least to know that I can.
I’ve been feeling really defeated by my running performance lately, as well – but the great thing is, we can run. We have the ability. We know what we can do. Even when we lose endurance or speed, we still can get out there and enjoy the sport. Sometimes starting back at square one will help you go further and experience new levels of running success, and it absolutely takes a lot of bravery to be humbled and take the steps to get back to where you were.
Nicole @ Fitful Focus recently posted…What Itâs Like To DNS A Race
You are absolutely right: we can run. Ok, well maybe I can’t run right this second, but I will be running again soon.
I totally understand your frustrations, too – it’s so hard when our bodies don’t work with us.
I’m rooting for you!
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
That’s a really great word. I think it takes a lot of bravery to put out your goals and then go after them. It’s easy to get locked down by fear and insecurity, it happens to me all the time.
Jen @ Pretty Little Grub recently posted…Sport Supplement Review: Creatine
It’s so easy to get caught up in the insecurity. Since starting to run, my confidence has been way up there – I don’t like feeling so unsure and shaken.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
Starting over is never easy and your not really starting over just refocusing and going in another direction. I believe that the longer we keep running, we all will have times where we have to take breaks. Only gives you the chance to come back stronger!
Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner recently posted…Cherry Blossom 10 miler race recap 2016
It’s not easy, and it’s a bit upsetting. I feel like I’ve worked so hard for so long, and it’s a slap in the face to go back to the beginning. But it is what it is and being mad about it isn’t productive in the least. I just have to put my head down and get it done.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
I feel like I’m in a rather similar situation. I took 4 months off to heal an injury and just as I return an old niggle popped up and turned into an injury, so I need to figure out what’s up with my body and get to working on it.
Your writing is so neat and pretty!
Ugh! That’s so frustrating! I totally understand your frustration!
Thanks – this was my second draft. The first version was a lot sloppier!
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
Starting over is SO tough. It sounds like you have an awesome plan for tackling it over the next few weeks though. On the positive side, I think with starting over comes celebrating those initial milestones that seemed so big to us – and then perhaps seemed a bit smaller – and are now again so big (first 5k!). Good luck as you work your way though it.
I hope it’s a good plan. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I’m hopeful that changing things up and really doubling down with the cycling will help get me in a good position for my running. Fingers crossed.
I do hope I can get it together in time for the 5K. That will mean a lot to me.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
It is brave to keep trying and not give up. You will do this!
You’re right. I will. It’s a bit upsetting, but I’m hoping that a breather and some new perspective will make it easier.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
Starting over and exploring unfamiliar territory is always terrifying. I have no doubt that you are brave enough and strong enough to do this and will come out even stronger on the other side.
Kathryn @ Dancing to Running recently posted…Why Now Isn’t The Time for a Marathon
All I can do is try! I’m hopeful that I can get it together and get back to where I was.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
It takes guts to go back to the drawing board and make a fresh start! I hope you get back on track. After Big Sur, I’ll be doing a little rehab too. It’s hard to take time off–I hate the idea of losing fitness.
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…Are You Brave Enough?
I hate losing fitness, too, but that’s exactly what has happened over the past month. The only way I can see getting it back it rebuilding my base and starting over. However, you have inspired me with your cycling: I figure if I commit to adding that in, I might not be so badly off with my cardio when it comes time to reintroduce the running. We shall see.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
I just have to say, I don’t very much like this particular definition of Brave up there. I don’t think being brave means you have or show no fear. I think someone who’s afraid but keeps going anyway is brave. More brave than someone who doesn’t know enough to fear.
I think this is a great plan! You’re going to be feeling much better in no time! Go get it! And have fun with the bike!
As for me… I’m afraid on my new horse Romey. He’s a great guy, but we don’t speak the same language (he’s learning to be a riding horse after having been a race horse until this past summer). I’m pretty good trotting him around, but I’m afraid to canter him. We were getting better and I was feeling more confident when the ice and snow returned. I’m looking forward to my trainer getting back from Florida to help me with him.
Stacie Seidman recently posted…What’s Up Wednesday
You raise an excellent point. I think maybe the point is not showing fear? I think I show fear a lot, but yes, you can be brave and afraid.
I hope you and Romey can come to terms. I think I would be pretty afraid on a race horse, too. It sounds like you’ve made great progress: now you just have to get a little help. Hang in there, and hurry up, spring!
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
I think that things like this happen for a reason…if you continued to run races as usual, you won’t feel nearly the same accomplishment as you will with starting over. You’ll get there girl…and you’ll have a great story to tell!
I hope you’re right. I don’t feel great about any of this, so I will focus on the story and the comeback and hope I can do it.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
I definitely think that you are brave and that you are NOT unexceptional! It is so tough when you have big goals and end up having to start over from square one…I can definitely relate when I went through my stress fracture a few years ago. It sounds like you have a great plan and are brave to share it with us to hold yourself accountable. I’m rooting for you!
Janelle @ Run With No Regrets recently posted…Goals for the Philly Love Run Half Marathon Relay
Thank you, Janelle <3. I don't know if it's brave, but I do absolutely need the support and feedback. I don't like being in this position and it makes me feel like I wasn't strong enough. Which is obviously ridiculous, but my brain is my biggest enemy sometimes.
runswithpugs recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
Read my post from Tuesday, if you haven’t (it is about returning to running after stress fracture, but it applies to all injuries). Be brave, have patience, and do the work. And deep, deep breaths…
I will! Thanks!
Oh, lots of breaths. I am the worst at breathing!
runswithpugs recently posted…weekly recap: 4/3 â 4/9
you got this!!!
great focus:body circuit and yoga. your running will thank you!!
I hope so! I just want to feel confident in my abilities again.
runswithpugs recently posted…weekly recap: 4/3 â 4/9
Last fall definitely caused me to question whether I would ever finish another race. I had to dig deep and find my own bravery to train for 10 weeks solely on cycling and pool running (with a fractured foot). I’m still lining up at races wondering if I will finish, but I’m out there. I’m brave enough to start. And so far, I’ve finished. Good luck as your begin your rebuild and tap into your bravery.
HoHo Runs recently posted…Happy Birthday Wednesday Word
It is such a hard feeling. You are definitely brave enough, and I hope I can get to that point again, too.
It’s so scary and demoralizing.
runswithpugs recently posted…weekly recap: 4/3 â 4/9
Life is so full of ups and downs. Sometimes we all need a reset 🙂
I think you are brave for doing this and I know you will achieve everything that you want!! You got this!! 🙂
Natalie Mitchell recently posted…Sweet Potato Protein Smoothie
You are most likely right, but admitting that is pretty rough. It’s hard to come out and say that we aren’t in a position to make it work anymore and have to reassess. I’m not thrilled about it in the least.
Two more weeks for you! Eeek! I’m so excited for you!
runswithpugs recently posted…weekly recap: 4/3 â 4/9
It is hard to be brave,but you are doing a great job!! I came off of an injury that kept me from running for 3 months and when I started training in February I was scared. I am now back to running 3-4x a week and doing great , but every time I feel a twinge in my hip I get scared. But I am going to be brave and head into my half marathon training full force. Good luck!
Toni recently posted…Roasted Tomato, Crispy Kale and Farro Salad #NOWWellness
Three months is a long time. It’s so rough having to jump back in at the ground floor.
Good luck with your next half! You’ve got this!
runswithpugs recently posted…weekly recap: 4/3 â 4/9
Starting over is scary, that is how I felt after I had my hysterectomy last year. Remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! and you my friend are brave enough to tough it out! enjoy the new training plan!
Mary Beth Jackson recently posted…SSS- Spring, StitchFix and Shoes!
And look at you! Back and better than ever!
I hope it all works out, but I guess I gust have to have faith!
Developing a stronger base is an excellent idea as you start afresh. Here’s to you and that you enjoy your training plan as you work your way back, stronger than ever!
Thank you for joining our Wednesday Word linkup again this week!
Debbie @ Deb Runs recently posted…Cheering On North Face Runners During A Muddy Trail Run